LOVE

The Great Love of God

Our deepest happiness will not come from pursuing achievement, pleasure, or material security, but from knowing and living in divine love. This love isn't something we achieve but is a gift that we receive. It is not something we can create; it is conferred on us by another. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

We believe, if I behave correctly, I will one day get God to love me or even notice me. We tend toward this behavioral model. But the biblical tradition actually teaches that first we must see God clearly, often by experiencing God’s mercy for our bad behavior—and then our right behavior will follow. We first must encounter and experience God’s original blessing, choosing, and loving of us. If you start with original sin or shame, normally the pit is so deep you never get out of it. —RICHARD ROHR1 Now I Become Myself: How DeepGrace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

Thomas Merton once asked, “How does an apple get ripe?” The answer? By simply sitting in the sun. The great saints described this practice of “sitting in the sun” as “resting” in the “gaze of God.” Now I Become Myself: How DeepGrace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

God doesn’t love us because we are good but because God is good. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

When I realize that God loves me even in my worst moments—when I am not growing, not obeying—I am inspired to live with more faithfulness. God’s kindness humbles me, fills me with gratitude, and leads me to repentance. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

★ While many of us say we believe God loves us, most of us actually believe that we’re only in God’s favor if we’re good, keep the rules, and act responsibly. Or, we may say we believe God loves us, but in practice, we measure our worth by what we do, how much we achieve, and how others view us. But these are the measures of our false self rather than our true self. Now I Become Myself: How DeepG race Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

As a friend of mine reminds me, we tend to think that if we change, God will love us, but if we let God love us, we will change. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

The Spanish mystic Teresa of Ávila wrote that as we become aware of the divine gaze of God, we become more like the God who gazes upon us. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

Receiving a loving, attentive gaze from someone also changes us on a physiological level, as it activates the limbic part of our brain and creates an “aha” moment.5 Psychiatrist Curt Thompson points out that it takes less than three seconds for shame to form in our brain, but thirty to ninety seconds for an affirmation to form. When we attend to an affirming word or gaze, synapses fire and dopamine and serotonin are released in our brain, and over time, with repetition, we will be able to more easily access our neural pathways to joy. Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

The most powerful and transformative experience of being known and loved comes from our relationship with our Creator. Now I Become Myself: How DeepGrace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

★ Spiritual disciplines can help us open our eyes to the reality of God’s love, which is all around us—like the air we breathe—but which we often don’t perceive. Psychologists describe this ability to receive affirmation as a “receptive affect.” Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

When we release our feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, and shame to God, we can become more receptive to the peace, rest, and love of God. Thus Thomas Keating, a deeply respected monk, describes centering prayer as “divine therapy.” Now I Become Myself: How Deep Grace Heals Our Shame and Restores Our True Self by Ken Shigematsu

★ A God of love would rather have rebellious children than have none at all. He wouldn’t take it back. He never stopped wanting you. The mystery of the gospel is that God still desires us knowing what would come. The Gift of Thorns: Jesus, the Flesh, and the War for Our Wants by A.J. Swoboda

Loving Others